1 2
Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens
Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens

Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens

$29.99
$29.99

Novelty office pens from Hott Products featuring outrageous designs and fun shapes for desk humor and gag gifts.

Key Features:

Functional ballpoint pens with explicit adult humor designs

Smooth writing performance for professional office use

Memorable gag gift for coworkers and professionals

Eye-catching novelty designs spark workplace conversations

Perfect for casual office environments and personal collections

Vendor: Hott Products
SKU: NEW-11747
Availability: Out Of Stock
Product type: Party Gifts and Novelties
Please hurry! Only 0 left in stock
Product Description

Tired of bland office supplies that no one remembers? These pens deliver sharp, hilarious one-liners that spark genuine laughter and break the ice instantly. Five cheeky designs turn everyday borrowing into a moment of honest comedy.

At a glance
  • Pack size: 5 pens
  • Material: Plastic barrel with ballpoint refill
  • Sayings: Five different outrageous phrases
  • Best for: Parties, offices, gag gifts
  • Use: Write and hand to friends for laughs
🚚 Plain, discreet packaging🔒 Discreet billing↩︎ Hygiene-conscious returns policy

What it is

Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens are five working ballpoint pens designed purely for comedy. Each pen displays a different cheeky saying that lands when someone borrows it—from workplace frustration to blunt honesty. They're functional writing tools wrapped in laugh-out-loud humour. The sayings range from "Actually, just fuck off" to "I wanna fucking go home," each one guaranteed to raise eyebrows and smiles in equal measure.

What sets these apart is their simplicity and authenticity. They're not gimmicks; they write properly. The novelty lies entirely in the message, making them perfect for anyone who appreciates dark humour and isn't afraid to show it. See the full BDSM Australia range of Party Gifts for more conversation starters.

Key features

  • Five different sayings: Each pen carries a unique outrageous phrase that sparks immediate laughter and conversation.
  • Working ballpoint: These aren't props—they write smoothly and reliably for everyday note-taking.
  • Bold text: Sayings are printed clearly and boldly so they're impossible to miss when someone picks one up.
  • Ice-breaker magic: Perfect for breaking tension in meetings, parties, or any gathering where humour opens doors.
  • Gag-gift ready: Arrives as a complete set, making it an instant gift solution for hard-to-shop-for adults.

Specifications

  • Quantity: 5 pens per pack
  • Type: Ballpoint pen with plastic barrel
  • Ink: Standard ballpoint refill (black or blue)
  • Sayings included: "Actually, just fuck off"; "I wish I could fukin spell"; "Hands off my pen, bitch"; "These stupid fucks think I'm working"; "I wanna fucking go home"
  • Dimensions: Standard pen size, approx 14 cm
  • Box contents: 5 novelty pens

How to use a party gifts and novelty

Keep these pens in your desk drawer, bag, or on your desk where they're visible. When someone asks to borrow a pen, hand them one and watch their reaction. The humour is instant and requires zero setup—the pen does all the talking. Use them at work, parties, or gatherings wherever people appreciate honest, cheeky comedy.

They work best when you hand them over casually, as if they're ordinary pens, letting the message land as a surprise. Pass them around at group events to spark laughter and conversation. Explore the full range of Gifts and Gags for more ways to entertain and amuse.

Keep pens away from children and use them only in environments where adult humour is appropriate and welcomed. Safety first. This information is general in nature only and is not medical or professional advice; it does not account for your individual circumstances. Discontinue use immediately if you experience pain, numbness, discolouration, irritation or discomfort, and seek advice from a qualified medical professional if you have a relevant health condition or if symptoms persist.

Care and storage

Store pens in a cool, dry place with caps on to prevent the ink from drying out. Keep them away from direct sunlight to preserve the printed text clarity. These pens require no special care—treat them like standard ballpoint pens and they'll perform reliably.

Learn more

Novelty pens transform ordinary moments into memorable laughs. They're conversation starters that appeal to anyone with a sense of humour. Read more about creating memorable gatherings in How To Make A Bucks Party Memorable At Home.

Mistress Athena's training notes

By Mistress Athena — professional dominant and kink educator, sole instructor behind BDSM Australia's library of training videos. Read her full bio →

Novelty pens like these serve a distinct purpose in social settings where tension needs breaking. Handing one to a submissive during a scene creates a moment of humour that shifts the dynamic—laughter disarms and resets attention. The cheeky sayings remind everyone present that power exchange thrives when both parties can smile.

During longer scenes, these pens sit on my desk as conversation pieces. Guests notice them, read the sayings, and immediately understand the tone of my space. There's no pretence here—the messages align perfectly with how I conduct my practice: direct, honest, and unafraid of blunt language.

What appeals to me most is their authenticity. The sayings reflect genuine workplace and social frustration, making them relatable to any adult. They're not trying too hard; they simply exist as they are, much like effective dominance itself.

See this and similar tools in action across my 300+ training videos on the BDSM Australia channel.

How it compares

Feature Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens Standard Novelty Pens (Generic Humour) Blank Ballpoint Pens
Humour level Bold, unapologetic sayings; lands hard Mild, safe jokes; less memorable None; purely functional
Functionality Works as a real pen; writes smoothly Works as a real pen; writes smoothly Works as a real pen; writes smoothly
Conversation starter Immediate and genuine; breaks ice instantly Polite chuckles; minimal impact No conversation value
Best for Adults who appreciate dark humour and honesty Corporate settings requiring mild comedy Professional environments only
Value as a gift High; memorable and unique Medium; forgettable after the moment Low; no personality or surprise

Why you'll reach for it

Pick up Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens at BDSM Australia when you need a gift that delivers real laughs or want to keep your desk memorable. These pens work, they're funny, and they speak volumes about who you are. Order your set today and start turning pen borrowing into a moment people actually remember. Everything for Bondage Under One Roof.

Shipping Information

BDSM Australia ships with Australia Post. We ship from Sydney.

All in-stock orders placed before 12pm AEST (Sydney Time) on business days are generally processed on the same day. Packages are usually received 1-6 business days after shipping, but may subject to any postage carrier related delays beyond our control.

Free standard shipping on orders shipped within Australia above $200. For orders below $200 standard shipping within Australia is $12.95 and will be added at checkout.

Orders addressed to P.O box, G.P.O box or Parcel Collect will be handled by Australia Post. Extra time should be allocated for these orders.

Shipping Transit Times (Including Free Shipping)

Shipping time refers to the estimated time that it will take to deliver your order after it’s ready to ship (Please note this does not include time to process your order). Shipping time does not commence after your order is put through but begins the moment your order has been processed and is ready to dispatch via the our freight carrier..

1. Major City & Metro Areas (within Australia)

All in stock orders are generally processed on the same day the order was placed on business days for orders received before 12pm. Generally, orders are processed and shipped the same day or next business day.

Orders are typically received 1-6 business days after shipping. For larger packages please allow an extra 1-2 business days for delivery.

If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from the nearest depot location.

2. Rural Areas (within Australia)

All orders are generally processed on the same day the order was placed on business days before 12pm.

Generally, orders are processed and shipped the same day or next Business day.

Packages below 2kg are usually received 3-6 business days after shipping. For larger packages please allow an extra 1-2 business days for delivery.

If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from the local Australia Post depot.

International Shipping

The price for international shipping is AU$12.95 for orders equal to or below 0.399kg (399grams), and AU$22.95 for orders with a total weight equal to or above 0.4kg (400 grams).

All in-stock orders placed before 12pm AEST (Sydney Time) on business days are generally processed on the same day. Packages are usually received 6-30 business days after shipping. 

If no one is available at your delivery address to accept your order a second delivery may be scheduled or you will be notified that your order can be collected from your nearest delivery depot.

Please note in regards to all orders

– These expected delivery dates/times are based on carrier shipping practices, your destination, and the items in your order.
– Expected delivery dates are estimates. Orders can be delayed due to fraud verification or the time of the order being placed. Items that are not regularly stocked cannot be held to the expected delivery dates.
– Orders may be delivered in separate shipments.
– The order cut off times are based on normal Business Hours and exclude weekends and Holidays: Monday – Friday 12 pm
– When your order ships you will receive an email from us with a link to track your order.  If you receive your tracking number before 6 pm (AEST) it may not be updated on the Carrier’s website until that evening.

Due to large amounts of online credit card fraud, all orders are subject to approval by our payment verification department. We will notify you by phone or email should your order be delayed.

Returns Policy

We have a 14 day return policy, which means you have 14 days after receiving your item to request a refund for any defective products.

Returns and exchanges are only available for faulty items, goods not as described, or in some instances, for incorrect sizing.

Due to health and safety regulations, sex-toy.com.au cannot resell any returned or exchanged products.

This policy is in place to prioritise your well-being and ensure that you receive the highest standard of hygiene and quality in all products.

To be eligible for a refund, your item must be in the same condition that you received it, unworn or unused, with tags, and in its original packaging.

You’ll also need the receipt or proof of purchase. We do not issue refunds for change of mind or incorrect choice.

Under Australian Consumer Law, we are not obliged to accept returns for “incorrect choice” or “change of mind” so please choose your products carefully. 

Any freight and insurance costs to return the item to us are at your expense. This includes the liability for any lost freight – send via registered post.
If your return request is accepted, we will provide you with all instructions on how and where to send your package. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted.

Damages and issues

Please inspect your order upon reception and contact us immediately if the item is defective, damaged or if you receive the wrong item, so that we can evaluate the issue and make it right.

Exceptions / non-returnable items

We do not accept returns for any products that have change of mind, damaged products, or for products that have been used or do not have their original packaging.

Please get in touch if you have questions or concerns about your specific item.

Unfortunately, we cannot accept returns on sale items or gift cards.

Refunds

We will notify you once we’ve received and inspected your return, and let you know if the refund was approved or not. If approved, you’ll be automatically refunded on your original payment method within 7 business days.

Please remember it can take some time for your bank or credit card company to process and post the refund too.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pen?
This novelty pen combines everyday office functionality with humorous adult-themed designs. The Hott Products pen features explicit imagery and cheeky messaging that makes it a gag gift for workplace desks. Perfect for professionals who appreciate irreverent humor, these pens write smoothly while delivering entertainment during boring meetings and mundane paperwork sessions.
How do these adult-themed writing instruments work in office settings?
The Outrageous Novelty Office Pen functions as a standard ballpoint pen with smooth ink flow for writing, signing documents, and taking notes. The distinctive adult humor design serves as a conversation starter and desk decoration. Simply uncap and write normally—the novelty aspect comes from the explicit graphics and adult messaging printed on the barrel.
Can these pens with explicit designs be used for professional environments?
Yes, these Outrageous Novelty Office Pens work perfectly for casual workplace environments, home offices, and personal desk collections. They're ideal for professionals with a sense of humor who want to add personality to their workspace. The pens function reliably for everyday writing tasks while the adult-themed design appeals to those who appreciate irreverent workplace humor and gag gifts.
Where do these novelty writing pens deliver the most impact?
These Outrageous Novelty Office Pens excel on desks in casual workplaces, creative studios, and home offices where personality is valued over corporate formality. The explicit designs create memorable impressions during meetings and presentations. They're particularly effective as gag gifts for coworkers, friends, and professionals who appreciate adult humor and want to inject personality into their writing instruments.
Will these adult-themed pens work as gifts for office parties?
Yes, these Outrageous Novelty Office Pens function excellently as gag gifts for office parties, Secret Santa exchanges, and workplace celebrations. The explicit designs and humorous messaging appeal to adults seeking memorable novelty items. They're conversation starters that stand out from standard pen gifts, making them ideal for entertaining coworkers and adding humor to professional environments.

Related Products

Example product title
$29.99
$29.99
Example product title
$29.99
$29.99
Example product title
$29.99
$29.99
Example product title
$29.99
$29.99
Example product title
$29.99
$29.99
Example product title
$29.99
$29.99

Recently Viewed

Why Shop With BDSM Australia?

FAST ORDER DISPATCH

We ship same day on all in-stock orders placed before 12pm! Free shipping on all orders above $200.

DISCREET PACKAGING

All of our shipments come in discreet packaging ensuring those nosy neighbours will never know!

INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING

We ship our full range of products worldwide with fast dispatch for orders before 12pm Sydney EST!