{"product_id":"hott-products-outrageous-novelty-office-pens","title":"Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n  .pd-desc .lede{text-align:center;margin:0 auto 1.2em;max-width:48em}\n  .pd-desc .ataglance{background:#e5380d;border-radius:10px;padding:20px 24px;margin:22px 0;color:#fff}\n  .pd-desc .ataglance strong,.pd-desc .ataglance li{color:#fff}\n  .pd-desc .ataglance ul{margin:.5em 0 0;padding-left:1.2em}\n  .pd-desc .safety{background:#e5380d;border-radius:10px;padding:20px 24px;margin:22px 0;color:#fff}\n  .pd-desc .safety strong{color:#fff}\n  .pd-desc .trust{margin:18px 0;text-align:center}\n  .pd-desc .trust span{background:#e5380d;color:#fff;border-radius:24px;padding:9px 18px;display:inline-block;margin:5px 6px}\n  .pd-desc table{border-collapse:collapse;width:100%;margin:14px 0}\n  .pd-desc th,.pd-desc td{border:1px solid rgba(255,255,255,.25);padding:11px 13px;text-align:left;vertical-align:top}\n  .pd-desc th{background:#e5380d;color:#fff}\n  .pd-desc .byline{font-style:italic}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"pd-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"lede\"\u003eTired of bland office supplies that no one remembers? These pens deliver sharp, hilarious one-liners that spark genuine laughter and break the ice instantly. Five cheeky designs turn everyday borrowing into a moment of honest comedy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"ataglance\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAt a glance\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePack size:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5 pens\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Plastic barrel with ballpoint refill\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSayings:\u003c\/strong\u003e Five different outrageous phrases\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBest for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Parties, offices, gag gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUse:\u003c\/strong\u003e Write and hand to friends for laughs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e🚚 Plain, discreet packaging\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🔒 Discreet billing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e↩︎ Hygiene-conscious returns policy\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWhat it is\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens are five working ballpoint pens designed purely for comedy. Each pen displays a different cheeky saying that lands when someone borrows it—from workplace frustration to blunt honesty. They're functional writing tools wrapped in laugh-out-loud humour. The sayings range from \"Actually, just fuck off\" to \"I wanna fucking go home,\" each one guaranteed to raise eyebrows and smiles in equal measure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhat sets these apart is their simplicity and authenticity. They're not gimmicks; they write properly. The novelty lies entirely in the message, making them perfect for anyone who appreciates dark humour and isn't afraid to show it. See the full BDSM Australia range of \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/bdsmaustralia.com.au\/collections\/party-gifts\"\u003eParty Gifts\u003c\/a\u003e for more conversation starters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eKey features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFive different sayings:\u003c\/strong\u003e Each pen carries a unique outrageous phrase that sparks immediate laughter and conversation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWorking ballpoint:\u003c\/strong\u003e These aren't props—they write smoothly and reliably for everyday note-taking.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBold text:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sayings are printed clearly and boldly so they're impossible to miss when someone picks one up.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIce-breaker magic:\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for breaking tension in meetings, parties, or any gathering where humour opens doors.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGag-gift ready:\u003c\/strong\u003e Arrives as a complete set, making it an instant gift solution for hard-to-shop-for adults.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eQuantity:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5 pens per pack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eType:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ballpoint pen with plastic barrel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInk:\u003c\/strong\u003e Standard ballpoint refill (black or blue)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSayings included:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Actually, just fuck off\"; \"I wish I could fukin spell\"; \"Hands off my pen, bitch\"; \"These stupid fucks think I'm working\"; \"I wanna fucking go home\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Standard pen size, approx 14 cm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBox contents:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5 novelty pens\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eHow to use a party gifts and novelty\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eKeep these pens in your desk drawer, bag, or on your desk where they're visible. When someone asks to borrow a pen, hand them one and watch their reaction. The humour is instant and requires zero setup—the pen does all the talking. Use them at work, parties, or gatherings wherever people appreciate honest, cheeky comedy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey work best when you hand them over casually, as if they're ordinary pens, letting the message land as a surprise. Pass them around at group events to spark laughter and conversation. Explore the full range of \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/bdsmaustralia.com.au\/collections\/gifts-and-gags\"\u003eGifts and Gags\u003c\/a\u003e for more ways to entertain and amuse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"safety\"\u003eKeep pens away from children and use them only in environments where adult humour is appropriate and welcomed. \u003cstrong\u003eSafety first.\u003c\/strong\u003e This information is general in nature only and is not medical or professional advice; it does not account for your individual circumstances. Discontinue use immediately if you experience pain, numbness, discolouration, irritation or discomfort, and seek advice from a qualified medical professional if you have a relevant health condition or if symptoms persist.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eCare and storage\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStore pens in a cool, dry place with caps on to prevent the ink from drying out. Keep them away from direct sunlight to preserve the printed text clarity. These pens require no special care—treat them like standard ballpoint pens and they'll perform reliably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eLearn more\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNovelty pens transform ordinary moments into memorable laughs. They're conversation starters that appeal to anyone with a sense of humour. Read more about creating memorable gatherings in \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/blog.adultsmart.com.au\/how-to-make-a-bucks-party-memorable-at-home\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eHow To Make A Bucks Party Memorable At Home\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eMistress Athena's training notes\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"byline\"\u003eBy Mistress Athena — professional dominant and kink educator, sole instructor behind BDSM Australia's library of training videos. \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/blog.adultsmart.com.au\/author\/mistress-athena\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eRead her full bio →\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNovelty pens like these serve a distinct purpose in social settings where tension needs breaking. Handing one to a submissive during a scene creates a moment of humour that shifts the dynamic—laughter disarms and resets attention. The cheeky sayings remind everyone present that power exchange thrives when both parties can smile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDuring longer scenes, these pens sit on my desk as conversation pieces. Guests notice them, read the sayings, and immediately understand the tone of my space. There's no pretence here—the messages align perfectly with how I conduct my practice: direct, honest, and unafraid of blunt language.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhat appeals to me most is their authenticity. The sayings reflect genuine workplace and social frustration, making them relatable to any adult. They're not trying too hard; they simply exist as they are, much like effective dominance itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSee this and similar tools in action across my \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCOG36wMHOhffhL9lZdWdmvQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003e300+ training videos\u003c\/a\u003e on the BDSM Australia channel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eHow it compares\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eFeature\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eHott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eStandard Novelty Pens (Generic Humour)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eBlank Ballpoint Pens\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eHumour level\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eBold, unapologetic sayings; lands hard\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eMild, safe jokes; less memorable\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eNone; purely functional\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eFunctionality\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWorks as a real pen; writes smoothly\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWorks as a real pen; writes smoothly\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWorks as a real pen; writes smoothly\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eConversation starter\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eImmediate and genuine; breaks ice instantly\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003ePolite chuckles; minimal impact\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eNo conversation value\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eBest for\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eAdults who appreciate dark humour and honesty\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eCorporate settings requiring mild comedy\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eProfessional environments only\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eValue as a gift\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eHigh; memorable and unique\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eMedium; forgettable after the moment\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eLow; no personality or surprise\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy you'll reach for it\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePick up Hott Products Outrageous Novelty Office Pens at BDSM Australia when you need a gift that delivers real laughs or want to keep your desk memorable. These pens work, they're funny, and they speak volumes about who you are. Order your set today and start turning pen borrowing into a moment people actually remember. Everything for Bondage Under One Roof.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Hott Products","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47933403529381,"sku":"NEW-11747","price":29.99,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0669\/0625\/9621\/files\/l_HP-3523.jpg?v=1781954940","url":"https:\/\/bdsmaustralia.com.au\/products\/hott-products-outrageous-novelty-office-pens","provider":"BDSM Australia","version":"1.0","type":"link"}